I'm sorry

I'm sorry
I don't weigh 56 lbs

I'm sorry
I don't look like a model

I'm sorry
My hair isn't long and shiney

I'm sorry
I have scars on my wrists

I'm sorry
I cry myself to sleep

I'm sorry
I cared

I'm sorry
I loved





Most of all
I'm sorry
I even knew you.

((created in 09))

Too Late, I'm Gone

Sobbing, shaking, I'm a wreck
The noose fits tightly around my neck
The sorrow I feel will never pass
Unless this world I leave at last
And as for breath, my last I take
And with it my final thought I make
Too late to repent for past misdeeds
Take back the destructive wave I lead-
Oh god they're back, the light is on
A scream, a gasp, too late I'm gone.

((created in 08))

What's Wrong?

You ask me what's wrong
I hold the answer in
You ask me to tell you
But where do I begin?
Do I tell from the start
When things first went wrong?
Or when they told me to sto
pAnd find a new way to be strong?
Should I mention him leaving?
The one person I trust
What my friends did?
Saying things so unjust
Will I admit to the cutting,
My desires to die?
How life became painful?
Every smile a lie
Finding out they're on drugs?
Hooked on some pills
How they didn't even care
That ecstasy kills?
When I finally realized
I was falling apart?
Crumbling to pieces
So I'd have to restart
Should I tell of the nights
Where I cried myself to sleep?
Falling on my bed
A silent sobbing heap
How waking made me tired?
Remembering the war
Of facing the day
And just getting out the door
Do I mention the fear
Gripping my lungs?
Thinking of words
That would come from their tongues
Will I say how I felt
When I hated myself?
Blaming me for it all
All that life dealt
Will I say any of this?
Probably not
You take what you get
So I took what I got...

((created in 08))

Take My Heart Take My Life

I’m not scared of death
If it means I can be at peace with you
Whatever forbids us will finally be overcome
And our love will remain and never undo.
What’s me without you?An empty shell of nothing
Sad and broken
Pieces of what could’ve been.
You left me high and dry
Going without a second glance
Taking with you my heart and life
Everything that could’ve and should’ve been a second chance.
Look at what I’ve become
Nothing can hurt me now, not even my knife
My soul is frozen, an icy stone that longs to see you
So please, take my heart and take my life.

((created in 08))

Time

Time
Falling downward,
everlasting agony,
no way to stop.

Losing grasp of reality,
can't stop the madness,
holding everything inside.

Don't want to be alone,
trying to make everything better,
it never seems to work.

Faith is just a waste of time,
grace, an untouchable goal,
only darkness is familiar.

Want to give up,
just to stop time completely,
so rejection can never hurt.

Love would just be a loss,
tears shed today remain tommorow,
sorrow is only comfortable to me.

To end it all would be a joy,
no more lies to swallow,
heartbreak will only be a memory.

When all things are said and done,
I will be gone,
gone forever more.

No more pain and suffering,
cuts across my wrists will soon turn to scars.
Only silence will remain.

Within my last breath,
everything will become a blur,
then death goes on to take another.

After I'm gone,
everything will turn back to normal,
as if I was never here.

Memories of me will fade and pass,
moving on,no one can change it,
I'll just fade away with time.

((created in 08))